Monday, May 19, 2008

SHOULD PARENTS SET BOUNDRIES FOR THEIR CHILDREN

Recently I read a quote made by Dame Jacqueline Wilson, which read as follows, " Basically, many teenagers want to be told " No, I am not allowing you to go there." It comes as a relief to them and then they can moan and groan to their friends. Parents are well- meaning and want to be popular with their children, and they remember clearly how they felt when their own parents told them they couldn't do things. But they need to set boundaries and offer guidance.

As I read this quotation I realized the importance of rules, standards in our society whether is in the church or in school or in the home. We need such guidance from those who have been placed in such position to give leadership to youth. Or do we really need them, is it necessary to have boundaries after all?

Let me here from you do you think parents or in the absence of them, churches should set boundaries for their children. If so what kind of characteristics should christian parents or youth leaders have to meet this challenge of giving guidance to young people.

28 comments:

Jesus' Daughter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jesus' Daughter said...

It is nessecery to set boundries because it gives them direction. As a young teen loving their savior, they realise you know best and will lead their lives in the right direction.

However, parents make mistakes too, sometimes they take this too literally and smother the child with protection. Other times they tak it too lightly and let their child get away with alot.

The best way is to trust your child to make small decisions with consequences (good or bad) that will effect them. They can learn from this. If you readmy comment on Arranged marrage you can see why trusting your child is so important.

If you trust your child now wth small decisions; they will be able to make trustworthy God-directed decisions about their future.

Yes, you do need guidelines, just like God did in the Garden of Eden - He knew the best way, and he knows the best way now. He uses simple guidelines in answering our prayers such as "Yes, it will contribute to your fuller joy in the future." or "No, it will hurt you" or even "Wait, I have smething planned beyond anything you can imagine!"

God leads us just like we need to lead our children.

It comes down to three things.

Love,

Trust,

and our loving Saviour.

Profº. Eric Frantto said...

HI, mr. BARAKA. I'm teacher Eric Frantto, I live in Brazil, I'm adventist. I like your blog. We can be glad in the love of the our Lord GOD!One big hug, dude!

SamKutondo said...

Pastor,

We are what we beleive and sometimes in between. I have always beleived that our bringing has a lot to do with how we choose to look at life. However there are a lot of good we can learn from our past as well as mistakes to avoid.

I agree with you that we must set boundaries for our children, someone said our job as parents is to help minimize their mistakes until they are grown enough to make it on their own to deal with the consequences of their decision.

We cannot afford to let our children live like children without guidance then moan about it when they seem to make mistakes. We can trust them with small decisions and based on performance gradually allow them room to grow.

No matter your upbringing we must strive to make better parents.

julius said...

Pastor
Good day!
Its nice reading your blog post. I am interested to your topic. As parents I believed we should set boundaries for our children speciall to our young teeners. Youths of today have different attitude and meet different group of youth in a society. we don't want them to be influenced by bad youth.
I remember what the bible says. "train up a child in a way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it".
The church must focus on our youth today because of so many modern technologies that might lead them to go out of the church.
GOD BLESS.
Anyway I came from the Philippines. I hope you can help me through your prayers. Please e-mail some irportant message specially in this last days of our time. my e-mail is jepsknhs@yahoo.com
thank you.

RONOH ERICK said...

It is the God's given responsibility of parents to give directions to their children as Jesus' love to the christians is shown by His care to give them the direction, but not that they do not have the freedom to choose or otherwise. Should children be left alone, they will, at sometime, make unwise decisions which will have an impact on them spiritualy, socially and other aspects, for the rest of their lifes. The ballance between the freedom given to our children and boundaries set by parents and church leaders is wisdom that God who gave thenm this responsibility will give on their daily prayers offfered to God on behalf of the children.
We need God each and every time to give us direction and He is delighted to do so.

Anonymous said...

Pastor Muganda, I agree with much of what was said already. In addition, I would like to say that parents and youth leaders alike should have the right vision. What's the intended outcome. Ultimately, you want your child to be a citizen of God's kingdom. That will not happen by you making all of their decisions (salvation is a personal matter). Nor will it happen by you giving them free reign. There must be deliberate guidance and much communication. You must help them to see and appreciate your vision. For all of the parents out there, I reccommend the book, "The Adventist Home" by Ellen White.

Anonymous said...

Hello Pastor,

As what Mrs White clearly emphasized and based on the world's situation now, it is clear that Christian parents should do something to bring back the ideal Adventist Christian home. Satan is putting snares even in the very room of each Christian homes, specifically Television. Young minds are influenced by inappropriate shows added with what they see in the surroundings where many have done immoralities.

So, parents must make the first move especially mothers who are entrusted by most of the families to mold younger ones at home. There should be boundaries in the home that must be agreed between husband and wives, the homemakers. At least, there will be a little heaven in earth.

I'm a daughter who is very much concern of the current young people attitude in the church.

Jhing said...

Hello Pastor,

Good day,

When God said honor your father and mother, a command is given to young people. and in Eph. 6:1, it says children obey your parents in the Lord it says that we as young people need to follow our parents.

I believe too that there should be boundaries for young people. Mrs. Ellen White counsels to young people that if they are blessed with godly parents then they should seek pieces of advice from them. Parents however bear that great responsibility and must feel it as privilege for them to make little heaven on earth.

Satan, these days, is very much vigilant to trap young people especially those who can be useful for the church. Parents should be aware of their responsibilities which range from basic home making skills up to building heavenward qualities for the youth.

Young people should be taught during prenatal stages until the time which they can stand by their own. That's what Mrs White says as role of the mothers in the home. Preparing them to be strong enough for the coming temptations. It lies on the first stages of young's life, from conception to 8 years old.

If parents do their best to mold young people, i believe so that God will do the rest even if He gives a test.

I'm also a daughter blessed with godly parents and i'm concerned for many other young people around me.

Cedric Habimana said...

Hallo Pastor,I wish to contribute to your article by stating that unless under abnormal circumstances, no parent would like their children not to have a brilliant and pleasant future life. So,christian moral values have been found to be appreciated even by those who do not necerarily subscribe to christian faith.Positive restring of Young people's freedom by both parents and the church is an important approach towards moulding them into responsible earthly and heavenly kingdom's citizens;because it is no doubt that where these freedoms are infrenged up on is only that they are perceived to inculcate unuseful morals and principles into the young ones.We look up for the time we are going to have a proper order of life in our heavenly kingdom.

Cedric Habimana said...

Hallo Pastor,I wish to contribute to your article by stating that unless under abnormal circumstances, no parent would like their children not to have a brilliant and pleasant future life. So,christian moral values have been found to be appreciated even by those who do not necerarily subscribe to christian faith.Positive restring of Young people's freedom by both parents and the church is an important approach towards moulding them into responsible earthly and heavenly kingdom's citizens;because it is no doubt that where these freedoms are infrenged up on is only that they are perceived to inculcate unuseful morals and principles into the young ones.We look up for the time we are going to have a proper order of life in our heavenly kingdom.

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